Oil change directions for men and women...

Stolen from the Nighthawk forums:

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00


Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop bl ood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!

This will not end well....

What dork would put a GSX-R motor in a go cart?!

A couple of pictures from last week:

HOLY SMOKES!!!!

My old scooter riding buddy, Glynn rode over from Jacksonville to see some family but we met up Saturday morning for breakfast and to hang out and check out my new Nighthawk.

So we did. He took it for a spin and thought it was nice and was cool enough to let me take his UM 650 sport cruiser around the block. That's a nice bike, very nice.

Then we went to get my next door neighbor to come see the bikes and we all decided to clean my carbs a bit. There was some thought that would increase the performance of the Nighthawk so I took it for a spin to see. It did indeed make the bike ride quite a bit better.

I'm no expert but this seems to be a very nice bike and even though it is 26 years old, it is in pretty good shape.

Anyway, after a quick hospital stay for me (weird day and a half experience), I got home and decided to ride the bike. It's funny how such a small ride around my neighborhood can make me feel.

On the Nighthawk forums, one of the regular posters told me that the Nighthawk has a really nice surge of power at 7k rpms.

In my limited riding, I had barely reached 4k rpms but today, my son was at the end of the driveway on my second lap encouraging me to 'GO!!!'.

So, I did.

I was enjoying the speed, the sound of the bike, the slight roar of the wind, THE HOLY SMOKES I AM SCREAMING DOWN THE ROAD.

Wow, what was that? It seems that on my Nighthawk, 5k rpm is where the funzone starts. It was very very smooth but a very very large surge in power. Very very smoth. Very very large gain in power.

I like my $250 Nighthawk!

So, I have this nice Nighthawk. Maybe I ought to, you know, actually ride it....

I got the 1983 Nighthawk 650 back in December and due to many things, 50 hour work weeks, days off spent at my Wife's Childcare Center, winter, kids, sick kids and then moving, I was not able to get the Nighthawk on the road.

It had a stuck left front piston and seemed to have a carb issue.

The cool thing was that when we moved (to an awesome neighborhood, best schools in town, large home, huge yard for the kids) our next door neighbor (who is also our landlord) noticed the Nighthawk in the huge carport. We hadn't even moved in but the next day I brought a van load over to drop off and my neighbor stopped by to ask about the Nighthawk.

I told the story of how I got it ($300!!!!) and that it had some issues. He loves Nighthawks; his friend in college had one and he'd be more than happy to help me get it fixed. By the way, he also had a motorcycle, a Suzuki DR 200.

This neighborhood is looking even cooler!

Then he told me he had an old '66 VW Bug, too. Wow, I used to be a huge air cooled VW guy. Loved them! Owner many of them.

So, anyway, we tinkered on the Nighthawk a bit and got it running but didn't tackle the brakes since we both have families, work, etc etc.

However, Saturday my neighbor comes over and asks to borrow a part off the spare set of carbs that came with the Nighthawk (that I paid $300 for) but they were still at the old house.

He then says 'Well, let's get your bike running then.'

And that's what we did. We didn't exactly fix the brake, we circumvented the left one :) And, no, I'm not going to ride the Nighthawk anywhere until all the brakes are fixed but I still have a perfectly functioning rear and front right brake and many Nighthawks didn't come with dual front brakes and by golly I wanted to finally ride my Nighthawk!

So I did.

Wow. It is nice.

I've missed riding.

I can't describe the feeling you get riding. In my case, I was putting along in second gear doing 25 mph. But it was enough. I am a rider again.

I haven't ridden thousands and thousands of miles; I've put maybe 2500 miles on two wheelss, before I sold my Kymco last year.

But that was enough to feel 'it'. You know what 'it' is. The feeling you get from riding.

I probably rode less than three miles but it was enough...well, not nearly enough, but enough. For now.

And for the record, the Nighthawk is awesome. Very smooth, very comfortable and more than likely has more than enough power for me. I was able to give it a bit of throttle and was very happy to feel the surge of power...and I didn't come close to redline.

So, be assured there will be more updates and some better pictures of the Nighthawk. So stay tuned!

Ok, this is awesome!

This guy did an Iron Butt 1000 on a Chinese scooter!!!

I really ought to buy a KLR, I like the KLR riders....